Saturday, August 02, 2008

I couldn't have said it any better...

Now that the Chinese adoption process has slowed to a snails pace, I
am growing a little weary of the questions that I am asked about our
adoption. I get everything from, "Oh, you are still doing that"…
to "Oh, you really are getting another one"… or my personal
favorite, "Have you done anything more about your adoption"….

It is almost as if people think we are doing this on a whim, that we
submitted our paperwork just because we had nothing better to do one
day… and then the next week decided to move onto something else. I
can't help but wonder if anyone would be so silly to ask that
question of a pregnant woman… Oh, you are still doing that?

Here are the top 10 things I wish people knew before asking me again
about where we are with our adoption…

1 – The adoption process may not be common to you, but if you care
about us, then you should at least try to remember all the previous
answers we have given – or better yet – find out more about it.

2 – We didn't come to the decision to add a child to our family
hastily. Please understand that this is a commitment we have made, no
matter how long it takes.

3 – The long wait is painful. No matter how infrequently you may
think about our adoption, be assured that we think about our new
daughter every day.

4 – We have no control over the process, other than submitting our
paperwork – from there is it is in China's hands… and God's.

5 – Being asked un-thoughtful questions is hurtful and doesn't do
much for our relationship.

6 – The very long wait is increasingly hard to handle, and just
because I don't say it, don't think for one day it is easy.

7 – It is ok to say that you don't understand the process, but when I
explain it for the third time, understand I will grow impatient.

8 – Waiting for our third daughter is no easier than waiting for the
first, and no less exciting for us either. (this was written by a woman adopting
a third child- we are on our first!)

9 – Not saying anything is probably worse than some of the comments.
If I were pregnant would you forget to ask?

10 – As anxious as you were waiting for your own children to be born,
is no different from how we feel now. We too are scared, nervous,
anxious, excited, wondering what she will look like, how she will
act, wondering when she will sleep through the night… waiting couples
are all the same.

1 comment:

Brooke W said...

I didn't realize you guys are adopting!!!! So exciting! I will be praying for you...I know what it's like to wait for a referral...though we only had to wait a few's like part of your family is THERE even though you've never met him or her! I pray the snail's pace quickens...God Bless you guys...